I’ve read a dozen books on stoic philosophy. I spent a lot of time with my coaching clients breaking down the core tenets of stoicism. My kids must think I’m a broken record. Every single time they want to complain about a situation to me, my response is the same.

I ask three basic questions, trying to communicate from a position of empathy and curiosity.

“I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Is this a situation you can control?”

99% of the time, the answer is no.

“What are the four things in your life that you have absolute control over?”

They know the answer. Sometimes they even roll their eyes a bit because they realize I’m not going to sulk with them.

• Attitude
• Effort
• Preparation
• Gratitude

“Would you like my help in developing a plan?”

Sometimes they take me up on this offer. Sometimes they don’t. They know hover that 100% of the time I’m available if they are struggling to figure it out.

This is a key philosophy in our lives and in our parenting. Hope this message can help you with a struggle you may be having. Most importantly, however I hope it causes you to let go of problems that you cannot control.