Why Do We Often Give Up Too Soon . . . In All Areas of Our Life?
YO! I started a strength training workout cycle last week. I love starting new cycles because the sets and reps needed are always significantly less at the beginning of the cycle. Everything ramps up as the weeks go on, and usually, by weeks 5 and 6, it’s brutal. During the first week, my programming tells me to leave “2 reps in reserve” per set. For those of you who are not familiar with this term, basically, if I feel that I can only do 10 reps of a certain exercise before failing, the 2 reps in reserve would be 8 reps needed.
I decided to do a little experiment over the last few days to make sure I was being honest with myself when determining having 2 reps in reserve. I needed to do 3 sets of dumbbell lateral raises. I grabbed the 15-pound dumbbells, and with the best form I could muster, I got to about 12 reps and told myself that I could only get about 2 more before failing, so I stopped at 12 reps. This was my “perceived” 2 reps in reserve, For the next set I did the same thing. Got 12 reps.
For the final set, I decided to go to absolute failure in reps as long as I could maintain good form. Based on how I was feeling, I assumed I’d get 14 reps, maybe 15 max . . . .
I GOT 25 REPS!
Are you kidding me?
Maybe that was an outlier situation, so today, in the gym, I decided to experiment again. I did 75-pound barbell curls, three sets total. In the first set, I did about 8 reps, and I felt I only had about 2 reps left, so I stopped. The next set was 8 reps as well. In the final set, I decided to go to failure—14 reps! WTF!
What is my point? . . . .besides that I’m a little chump 🙂
I’ve experienced this same thought process personally in other areas of my life. I push until it gets “hard,” and then I take my foot off the gas. The issue here is that “hard” is so subjective. We really have no idea how much harder we could have pushed. Most of us will never know because as soon as we feel a little uncomfortable, we check out. We call it a day. We’ve had enough. We are so complacent by nature. I see it a lot with the clients I coach. Pushing them past the point is what they NEED but not what they want to experience.
As someone who thinks they are a “high achiever,” I’ve been thinking back over the last few decades or so of my life and trying to isolate instances where I pulled up, slowed down, or stopped WAY EARLIER than I should have just because it was getting a little uncomfortable. Here are a few examples that I pulled from in my own life:
- I did not dedicate enough time to learning guitar because I had a season where I was plateauing.
- Not digging in and having super open and vulnerable conversations with my wife Kara, even though I knew on the other side of that uncomfortableness, would be a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
- Referring out more clinical procedures than I should have due to not being willing to seek additional higher-level training and mentorship to blast through a wall.
- Choosing to avoid difficult conversations with team members, knowing full well that the conversation would lead to growth for both of us and ultimately growth for the organization, but not wanting to deal with a little pain and discomfort to start.
Luckily, all those examples I’ve given above are situations that I have learned from and since remedied. You know what’s really cool about that? The more I lean into the discomfort and temporary pain, the easier it becomes to take on more pain and discomfort. The easier it becomes to stretch myself even more, which ultimately leads to levels of growth that I never thought were possible.
My challenge for you is to push yourself a bit more this week. Push yourself a bit further into that pain, and don’t run the other way. Anywhere—at work, in spousal relationships, at the gym, parenting your “difficult” teen—visualize what’s on the other side. Have clarity in your vision of what you can have when you are okay with a bit of discomfort.
Choose to be a buffalo and not a cow. IYKYK
